The Set-up
Occasionally, your friends try to save you from your
singleness and set you up. In the
beginning this is an enticing offer.
Maybe I’ll meet the man of my dreams and all I have to do is show
up. This friend of mine who is “setting
me up” has obviously taken the time to find a man who is “perfect” for me! It’s
like having my very own matchmaker! You’re willing to overlook the awkwardness
of a set-up, because you trust your friend.
You imagine that he/she has somehow just been hiding this amazing person
who is perfect for you.
Quickly you learn, however, that the only criteria your
friend used to set you up is the fact that you’re single. Being single is not a characteristic that
makes 2 people compatible. Obviously
when you meet someone you’re interested in dating, you hope that they are also
single, but simply being single is not enough on its own. Sometimes a set-up can make you wonder what
your friends really think about you. This guy?? This is the guy you see me
with? Maybe we aren’t friends….
Now that I know the criteria my friends use to set me up,
I’m generally less excited to be involved. You can’t actually completely turn
down the offer to be set up though, because there is always that voice in your
head that says “what if this time it works!”
It always ends up being a guy who lives with his parents, just got out
of rehab, doesn’t know what NPR is, or who is extremely socially awkward, but
you can’t just say no outright, because what are your other options?
“This is how people do it now.” I feel like I hear people say
that all the time. I remember when
online dating began, and I remember thinking “what kind of losers turn to the
internet to find a date?” Obviously the world of online dating has changed a
lot and actually has become one of the main routes people take on their search
for a mate. It’s not just for losers
anymore. Almost everyone I know who has
found themselves single over the age of 20 has tried, or at least seriously
considered trying online dating.
I guess the concept makes sense, but I’m still not a big fan
of the online dating scene. If you think
about it, it’s a really awkward way to meet people. Let’s all stay home, sit at our computes and
spend our time writing detailed profiles about ourselves and reading through the
profiles of others, so that we can exchange awkward emails and maybe a phone
call or two before scheduling to meet at a public place (safety first) so we
can essentially interview each other as if we’re both applying for jobs. Sometimes you don’t even know what “job”
you’re interviewing for. You might think it’s a girlfriend position, but the
only job available might be a sex position.
Perhaps this guy is just looking for someone to temporarily take on the
“Hand” or “Blow” positions at his “company.”
I also imagine that a good number of people lie on their
online dating profile. It’s hard not
to. Once you see your stats all written
out in black and white it can be a little depressing. As it turns out most of us aren’t leading super
exciting lives. We go to work, we see
our friends, travel a little, have a hobby, but that’s kind of it. Looking at your boring life profile, the only
tool people will have to see what kind of person you are, your singleness can
start to make a whole lot of sense. I
also feel like I don’t translate well over the internet. I’m much more interesting, and clever, and
cute, and funny in person. Right? As it turns out, maybe not. And don’t get me
started on the pictures.
Over the years I have tried 3 different online dating
websites. I pretty much hated them
all.
“Erin, meet Rob! He
also like's dogs and enjoys weightlifting!”
WHAT?!?! A person who also likes dogs?! That IS a super hard
characteristic to find in another person, and is definitely the glue that holds
couples together. Weightlifting? Did I
check off that I like weightlifting? Huh… turns out I did. Since I go to the gym and lift weights when
I’m there it seemed appropriate to check the box. Had I known that this was the box Match was
going to pay the most attention to; perhaps I would have considered not
checking it.
EHarmony
EHarmony makes you fill out this super long compatibility
test before you even get to create your profile. Am I the only person who panics a little when
filling out those kinds of tests? I feel
like many times I’m not really sure how to answer the questions and then I
worry about not being connected with the right people, because I’m an idiot
when it comes to filling out the test.
It also makes me wonder why the questions aren’t easier for me to
answer. I can’t like going out on the
weekends and also sometimes enjoy staying in? I have to pick one? Are most of
us so set on our likes and dislikes? Maybe I don’t really know myself at all?
Maybe that’s why I’m single…..
Plenty of Fish
It’s free! Since I’m
not a fan of other people making money off my misfortunes in love, the free, is
a big draw for me. Turns out, it’s a big
draw for a lot of people. Using POF I
was overwhelmed by all the interest my profile was generating. How exciting! Until I realized that most of
the people showing interest in me were people I had no interest in dating. I also had to scan through lots of people wearing not a lot of clothes. You really do have great abs, sir, but I'm not sure that's what is going to make us compatible. I don't even have abs. So
that was a bust too.
So you're in your 30's you messed up and didn't meet someone
in college, you've done the set-ups and the online dating, and the bar scene
and you have nothing to show for it. Well, maybe not nothing. I mean, look at
me, I have lots of stories, and now I’m writing a blog. That's kind of
something....
My 18-year-old Sex and the City watching self (read "why blog") is embarrassed
for me. She is super embarrassed for me. Sigh.....
I cant get over how funny you are. I can picture you saying all of this- I actually think we have had this conversation.
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