A Relationship Expert?

Over the weekend I got en email from a woman who has been reading my blog.  She wanted to interview me for a story she's doing about dating.  In the email, she referred to me as a "relationship expert." 

A relationship expert?  Hmmm.... umm.... really??  Has she not been paying attention?  When did multiple failed relationships, numerous horrific first dates with weirdoes, and a small, but growing, library of cock shots make you a relationship expert?  I mean, cool... but, really??

I guess if you want to get technical, I am somewhat of an "expert" when it comes to other people's relationships, as I am a therapist.   Being a good therapist, however, has little to do with how you function in your own life, at least to some extent.   I mean, obviously you have to be a pretty functional person to be a therapist, but that doesn't mean you're free of problems; not even close. 

I think it's so interesting that our ability to help others has almost no bearing on our ability to help ourselves.  I constantly have people coming to me for advice and insight.  Seriously, all the time people are telling me their story and asking for my suggestions.  While I'm always happy to listen, and happy to help, sometimes it surprises me that people look to me for my advice. 

I guess I feel this mostly in my personal life, because I actually feel pretty good about work.  When it comes to my personal life though, I think my suspicion is due to the fact that I know that the people asking for advice are pretty well aware of my life situation. 

When people say "I really need to talk to you" or "I really need your advice," for at least a second, I'm thinking, "uhhh really? You want my advice on this situation? But look at me!"

Needless to say, no matter what goes down in my own life I have somehow gained the respect of my peers enough, that no matter what mistakes I make, they are not deterred from spilling their guts to me and taking my solid(?) advice.

Now, it seems, not only are my friends willing to overlook my personal shortcomings in order to receive my feedback, so are a lot of other people.  Thank goodness that all it takes is a blog, some strong opinions, mistakes, and a couple funny stories to make you an expert on something.  To be honest, I actually feel really worried that anyone thinks I know anything, about anything.

I'm moderately smart, and arguably well adjusted, but that doesn't mean I really know anything.  Does anyone else feel like they have absolutely no idea what they're doing? Or what's going on?  I feel like a good amount of the time I'm kind of just pretending I know what's going on and what I'm supposed to do.

As a child, I remember looking up to adults and being in awe of their vast wisdom and knowledge.  Now that I'm, technically, an adult, I'm a little bit like, "um.. excuse me...where is all my wisdom and knowledge?  Hello?  But I don't know anything!  Hello?  Anyone? Hellllloo?"  Then I kind of look around and realize I better just smile and pretend before everyone recognizes that I'm just a poser.

I feel like I had the expectation that when I grew up I would know things, and have answers to things, and truly be an "expert," but it seems that the older I get, the more questions I have and the more lost I feel. 

It's interesting to think that everyone else kind of feels the same way sometimes.  Occationally I think about my parents, and think, OK, they played it pretty cool, but there is no way they actually knew what they were doing in that situation.  No. Way. 

And that's the thing; we all play it pretty cool.  I'm playin' it cool enough that people actually think I know something! And want to interview me about it!  Really! 

It's scary to think that we're all running around doing stuff, and literally no one really knows what the fuck they're doing, or what the point of all of this is, or if there even is a point for that matter.  I guess the only thing we can know for sure, is that we don't know anything.  And that's my "expert" opinion. 

Yowzers! I guess I'll end it there today with that comforting thought.  You're welcome.  Peace.